After dating a new guy, completely different than any other guy I've ever been interested in, I realize that in the past, I was the one with commitment issues.
It was almost as though I didn't feel that I deserved a good relationship. Subconsciously, I am pretty sure I did everything to mess up whatever good relationship I did have. I was/am very inexperienced in the 'love' category. Too inexperienced to be honest. I have no idea what it's like to be in a true relationship.
At one point in time, I was told that I 'don't live in a fairytale.' That statement has haunted me, and left me feeling like my thoughts of wanting happiness and love were out of reach. Which, in turn, left me in a position where I avoided any sort of romantic relationship with the person I wanted most.
Now that I've met someone, I have really had to force myself to allow him to get close to me. Right off the bat, I really enjoyed his company. I did however, contemplate not seeing him again because I was so scared to open myself up to the risk of being hurt. But instead, I saw him again and am so thankful I did. I dont know what the future holds, but I can't wait to see where it goes for us!
Here's to learning how to commit, love, and accept kindness!