Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Life's normalcies...

Well, it has been a rough couple of days, I'd say... it could definitely be worse, as much as it could also be better.

This pregnancy has caused me a lot of issues and discomfort to say the least. I am 32 weeks with just about 8 weeks to go! I've been getting Braxton-Hicks contractions that are never ending it seems! With that, the Doc put me on 8 hour work restrictions, which aren't so bad, but I normally work 12 hours so I am losing hours and pay! :( It's definitely something that concerns me.

Along with that, I feel so bad about my job and position. I have had to take time off, I've been sick, and Briahna has been sick. I just feel like I haven't been able to dedicate my time 100% to my job. So with my feelings of guilt and feeling bad about making it inconvenient for others, I applied for a job that requires less of my time and shorter hours. I will have to compensate those extra hours by trying to pick up extra shifts or potentially looking for a second job, as well as budgeting the hell out of what I make financially...ugh...dreadful.

Yesterday, I got a call from Bri's school saying she had a fever of 103...dun dun dun! Not the call I need at the moment, I hate when Briahna is sick! I hate even more that I just can't stay home with her when she is sick. Thanks to my amazing dad, he came in early this morning and watched her until I found someone to cover for me at work. My parents have bent over backwards to make sure we are taken care of, for that I am soooo thankful! One thing I knew would be hard, but hadn't thought about, was that being a single mom of two kiddos is going to be hard! I am mom and dad, their primary caregiver, and the only one they have to rely on on a daily basis. That's a lot of responsibility! Makes me wish that I had another person helping out regularly, but something I will definitely learn to adjust to! Ay yi yi! Wish me luck!

ps...My eyes are magnetized to food. By food, I mean ALL food. I can't stop eating! Candy especially, it's an addiction! I feel like I am eating all day and I feel like I am gaining so much weight! Ugh! I am so ready to get back in the gym and have my old clothes fit again! It's devastating now, even knowing I am pregnant, when I put on clothes and they are too small! :( Makes me sad. I know its natural to gain weight and obviously grow a pumpkin under my shirt, but it sure does have an emotional breaking point when I had worked so hard to get where I was prepregnancy! On the plus side, I still weigh less now than I did at the beginning of my pregnancy with Bri. So I guess that is a plus!

Be right back...sick kiddo calling...I know she's sick when she only wants cereal for dinner and complains of being cold (she's my mini heater)!

Oh I had my first little get together at my house this past weeked! It was quite lovely! We had chili (which I made!!) and carved pumpkins and enjoyed some good ol' girl talk! I definitely enjoyed the company! :) Will hopefully post pics soon of that day and also of my almost finished house! It's feeling so homey and welcoming! Not too many projects left to complete except for the baby's room...which I really need to get my butt into gear! Baby will be here before I know it!

Saturday, October 12, 2013


The Halloween season is upon us! Bri let me turn her into a zombie, or something like it. She couldn't sit still for too long, but she definitely looks creepy!

I used knockoff paint for her face and no primer under it so I had a hard time getting the paint to stay!

The next day I had a chance to try it on myself! I used my Makeup Forever Flash Pallet, so in love! And I used Smashbox primer underneath. I could see and feel a huge difference from when I did Bri's.

I attempted to create a bullet wound with special effects wax and blood. I don't get to do it often so it was a work in progress! But I think it turned out! I mean, who really knows what a zombie vampire looks like? ;-)

This was months ago, attempting to creat the cat from Alice in Wonderland! I'm still trying to figure out what products I like and which brushes work best!

I'll be a stellar makeup artist one day! I've done a few brides and engagement photos, web series, and such last year.. and I hope to get back at it when my little sausage link is born!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Feeling crafty...

Here is my latest creation! I took an old cork board and lined it with lime green fabric and tacked a sage green brulap piece to the top. I suggest to anyone who attempts this to use a hammer! My thumb has a bruise from pushing in all the tacks... I attempted to keep the tacks straight with an even distance between each one, well, I think I did okay. I am excited to hang it in my kitchen and probably put photos on it.
I am not a huge crafty person but I am getting more and more into it. I recently did a few a wine bottles wrapped in twine and also made coasters using a plain coaster set, vintage scrapbooking paper, and some sort of resin that dries clear and allows for your drinks to sit on it! I was proud!
I meant to attach those photos too but it didn't work. :(  

Monday, October 7, 2013

It's legally official folks...

I am legally a Piepenburg again! At least I can stop explaining why I am so white with an Asian last name.

I got a letter in the mail and my divorce is final and has been filed. I write this post with an enormous amount of stress relief and a heavy heart full of mixed emotions. It's something that I knew was coming and expected it to be final this month. I didn't realize I would still be emotional and feel like I failed at marriage. I didn't expect any sort of sympathy from the ex, but it is a little heartbreaking how easy this was for him to get divorced. I am perhaps quite bitter towards him and the ease I see upon him. But in reality, I guess I really did take care of the filing and court appearances and making amendments and meeting with an attorney, and on top of all that, stuck with the bill. I think it's only natural to be bitter when it's come to this.

For my own sake, I've had to forgive him and believe that he can be a good person and good father to my children. Forgiving someone is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength overcoming something so devastating. My mind is fixed with emotions, and I am at a loss for words to explain how I am feeling at this moment. I thought I was done shedding tears for something that is such a lost cause, but here I am, soaking up the tissues. It can only get better with time, right?

With that, I'd like to spread the word that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is a subject I feel so strongly about. Something I didn't realize occurred as often as it does. As a victim of this myself, I believe it is so important for you to know the signs of emotional and physical abuse. I am not yet ready to share my story. But I will put this out there, when a family member or friend shows concern toward your well being and relationship with your significant other, it's not because they are nosey, it's because they sense there is something wrong. Don't be quick to dismiss their concerns, for it could save your life one day. It is not easy to walk away from a domestic violent relationship but with the strength and support to do so, you will realize your worth and that no one should ever be treated with such disrespect.

Domestic Violence can occur in different ways, I know most people think of physical abuse as the only way of domestic violence, but that is not the case. There is also sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and financial abuse. And the type of abuse can be so subtle you may just brush it off, as I did. Sometimes name calling at the slightest is a form of domestic violence. Simply being called crazy or stupid or ugly is a form of abuse. Don't allow this sort of behavior.

From the National Network to End Domestic Violence:
"People who batter have a need to gain and maintain all of the power and control in the relationship. People who batter come from all walks of life but have common characteristics:
  • Insecure
  • Emotionally dependent
  • Excessively jealous
  • Manipulative
  • Can be very charming and then suddenly angry and violent."
And no, not all partners are abusers and not all abusers are men, but know the signs and know when to say enough is enough. All relationships will have spats and arguments, but there is a fine line between a disagreement and violence/abuse.

I know of only a handful of other victims who've suffered extreme cases of domestic violence and their strength and courage to get away is what keeps me moving forward.

In Minnesota this year, several girls have gone missing by the hands of their significant others alone. How is this continuing to happen? STOP TURING YOUR HEAD THE OTHER WAY WHEN YOU SEE SIGNS OF ABUSE. It's not normal, and it is your business, especially if it's someone close to you. Don't make excuses for bad behavior or put blame on an innocent victim. As I said, there is a fine line between a minor disagreement and violent abuse. Think about it...Don't ignore this escalating problem. Make a stand and defend those victims instead of blaming them.

Please follow "Liz's Daughter" on Facebook.
"WARNING! This is a Domestic Violence awareness and prevention page. We talk about an issue that affects the community, law enforcement and generations of families. We must work together to create change! BREAK THE SILENCE STOP THE VIOLENCE."

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

What a weekend

What a weekend! It was bittersweet I'd say. Friday I spent part of the day with my girl Kris and little Liam! He's almost 2 and makes me so excited for my little guy! That evening I went to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2 with my little love and Kayla. It was a lovely day catching up with friends! :)

Saturday, however, was a sad day. We laid my beautiful Great Grandma Gladys to rest. It was bitter cold and rainu, but well worth the chill. She always drank vinegar and used it for everything, so to send her on her way, we poured a bottle all around her tombstone. It was quite a rush when the Pastor said the Lord's Prayer...a huge gust of wind just about knocked us on our ass! It definitely was a sign that she was ready to go. After the burial, we went for lunch with some family and shared some good stories about our silly GGG! :) peace out grams!

Sunday, I took Briahna to Sunday School. I don't pish the religion thinv, but I do believe it's important fir her to have the knowledge for when she is older to make that choice on her own. So far tho, she loves it! I met my other Granny there and joined her for the church service. I haven't been to church in years, but I will say it was a positive experience and I'd go again. I have my oen beliefs, but this particular Sunday hit home for me. The Pastor spoke of sinners amd saints. His sermon reminded me that even tho I have made mistakes in the past, that I, now, am not the mistakes I once made. As my picture states, every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Well said.

After church, Granny came over for coffee and Scrabble! I kicked her butt! I also worked on my LinkedIn profile with am attempt to put myself out there for bigger and better things! That evening, nana invited us over for a delicious dinner, stuffed porkchops! Yum!

Anyways... it was a lovely weekend and I'm so thankful for what I've been blessed with! :) have a lovely day!