Thursday, March 31, 2011

The hardest job in the world... being a mother. It gets even harder when one becomes a single mother.

Prior to getting married, I played the single mother part for a short 6 months. For some reason, it wasn't near as hard as it is now. At that time, I was in the military, going to school, and working full time. You would think that would be harder! But it turns out, that this time around, it is much harder and doesn't appear to get any easier in the near future! Why does it seem so hard right now? B and I are still getting into a routine with our new life back in Minnesota. She is acting out due to a major change in her life. Living with 2 grandparents whom absolutely adore her, doesn't make it much easier! They are probably the best Nana and Grandpa any little kiddo could ask for! So when she misbehaves, who is left to be the bad guy? Yup, you guessed it, this mom right here! She has no problem stomping her feet, raising her voice, or throwing her toys when mom says "NO." When you're the boss (single mom), it can be hard to reign in that little monster!  Love her more than words could express, but daaaaang, this little girl will fight and fight until the bitter end! Everyday it is just her and I, she depends soley on me to care for her! And believe me, many days it can be quite overwhelming! I guess this is where I find the book, "single parenting for dummies." I need some insight on this, ASAP!

Tomorrow is a better day! Let's hope we can have a productive one, leaving all the hard stuff for another day. They always say, "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger," I think I am strong enough for a while a few days! Maybe next week I'll be ready to take on some more! :p

It could always be harder. My favorite favorite girl, JB, whom I met in Germany, is a single mom to 4, yes, 4 amazing kids! She definitely struggles with the same as I do, plus 300 times more! She truely is an amazing single mom, who does absolutely everything for those kids! I can only imagine what it would be like! She is a strong woman, who deserves nothing but the best! :) Miss you! Keep being the best mother to those kids, they adore you!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Starting over is NEVER as easy as it seems...j

when i was still in germany, i knew i had to start over. i dreaded the very thought of finding a new job, searching for childcare or preschool, and fitting in back where i never wanted to end up, my hometown. i cant really believe how much of a struggle this has been for me. i am getting back on my feet but it is just so much harder and unfair than i could have expected. even though i know its all temporary, its so frustrating.

i am starting school this summer, planning to get a second job, and hopefully take a few trips here n there. i am doing my best to stay positive and at least appear to be happy. but in all honesty, why would i want to appear happy when i actually should n can be truely happy...or content. so today is the day i will make that change. forget those who dont matter, cherish the ones who do, and live for my baby and myself. i was just going to write wish me luck, but i listened to a speaker who said that luck simply comes from hard work. the harder you work, the more luck you will recieve. so thats what i will do,work hard at all i do. im ready to take my life and make it thebest possible life i can

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Things could always be worse...

Guess I will continue to tell myself this daily. As I may sit here in my loneliness and/or saddness, I must always remember that it could be worse. I have so many amazing things and people in my life. It may be difficult right now, but again, could be worse.

Today there was a shooting at Frankfurt Airport, 2 American soldiers/airmen were killed. They worked where I used to live in Germany. My thoughts and prayers go out to their families, friends, and units. It breaks my heart to hear news like this. :(

I watched the 10 o'clock news tonight, and watched a story about a young girl with brain cancer. She lives life everyday to it's fullest and has nothing but a smile on her face daily.

Natural disasters continue to rip through countries causing fatalities, tragedy, and extreme loss.

So as I, or others, complain about our lives, we must always remember that things could always be worse.

I am blessed for everything I have been given in my life, good or bad. They have or will define who I am as a person. Only good things can be wished for! :)