To be honest, I wouldn't trade being a single mother for the world! However, I will admit that I tend to struggle with it some days. Thank goodness for an amazing and supportive family! I couldn't do this without them, this is for sure!
I want to take a moment to reflect on the past week and weekend. I feel like it's a blur and due to pregnancy brain, I can remember so little of it.
The biggest thing that stands out in my mind is the confrence I had with B's teacher. I anticipated it would be quite positive and I was right. She recieved all E's and S+'s on her report card, those would be similar to As and Bs. I mean, I may be biased, but my kiddo is unbeleivably smart and so full of life and wisdom and knowledge! The downfall of this confrence, is that her teacher told me she was one of her lowest ability students at the beginning of the year due to some standardized testing they make these poor 1st graders take. I mean seriously? How can you possibly compare a 1st graders ability on a test, when #1-they have never taken a test before, #2- you are pounding into their brains that they need to do well on this test, which in turn makes them nervous, and #3- the tests are asking questions at a 3rd grade level. I mean I get that they want to see where these children place, but comeon...AND if you know my B...you know how smart she is and how well she reads and grasps information. I was just stunned. And had this been true, that she really was a low ability student, shouldn't I have known about this? I mean, her kindergarden teacher said nothing of the sort, her doctor says she is right on track, at 4 years old she tested for kindergarden and they said she was more than ready. I am just concerned as to who's expectations she is supossed to meet!? She meets mine everyday and then some!
So with that, I've been beating myself up all weekend thinking I am just a terrible mom. Maybe if I was home more, or didn't have to work full time, or spent more time reading, writing, and learning, that she would be meeting this expectations of her school. Maybe if there WAS someone else around to help me, that would make it better?
But...I checked myself...and reminded myself that I am a good mother. I have done everything I can to make sure she is where she is at today, which is truly smart and amazing. My family has been a huge influence on her knowledge and education, as well as her dad.
As a single mom, it's too easy to blame yourself for everything that may go wrong. It's easy to feel bad and that you could do better...in most cases we can all do better...but when you do what's right and put forth an effort to give your children everything they deserve and more, just know that you are doing the right thing for your child and yourself. Its okay to make mistakes and try new things, that's how we learn to raise children the right way!
So if a teacher ever tells you something like that about your child, step back and remember that they only see a small portion of your child and their ability. You see their true potential day and day out.