Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I need some clarity in my life...

Today was an odd day. It was my first day off where I had NOTHING planned. It was awkward and I didn't like it, not one little bit. I had too much time to think and dwell. I even took a nap until noon after I dropped Bri off at school. NOT COOL!

With my day off, it was literally filled with anxiety and over thinking everything! I also had to print out some pictures for a project photo book for Briahna's class. I went through all of my photos online and on my computer to find some good ones for her to use, needless to say, it was an emotional trip down memory lane. Some of those photos I hadn't looked at since I moved back to MN in 2011.

There were some really great memories from my times in California and Germany. But they also were a sad reminder that those are simply distant memories which at this moment hold no value anymore. I don't look at them and remember the good times, I only remember how terrible things have ended. I am obviously not fully healed...

It breaks my heart for my kiddos, too. I try to keep photos of Briahna and her dad and his family around for her sake. But boy are they hard to look at. I truly hope that in the future I can see the good memories again and remember the good times. Until then, I'll keep holding on to that hope.

Any advice for this girl would be greatly appreciated! I don't personally know many people who have dealt with divorce or emotional breakups (lucky for the people I do know who haven't experienced it).

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