Eye opener...

Today, I was shockingly given an eye opener. I've been dealing with my stress and grieving over my divorce the wrong way. It has dramatically effected my health and state of mind. Instead of seeking support and comfort from my loved ones, I've lashed out in anger to those around me. For that, I truly apologize. I didn't realize how much of a negative impact daily stress can have on someone when it isn't dealt with accordingly.

I guess I agreed to everything involving my breakup/divorce, and I just feel like a failure. As much as I want and need to be civil, I am really struggling. Maybe it's jealousy of the new path he has taken. Maybe the end of the relationship was inevitable and we let it drag out far too long. Maybe I am so scared of what's to come when baby2 arrives and Im a single mom with 2 kiddos. Maybe I just haven't finished my journey to where I want to be in life, especially since this is not how I pictured my life today to be. Maybe I am punishing myself for anything and everything that happened in the past. I'm letting it make me bitter not better...when it needs to be the opposite!

A lot of the emotions flare up with the fact that I'm hormonal and pregnant! Who knew it could cause such havoc on someone!

But no matter how stressed I am, I need to put on my big girl panties and get my shit together for myself and my little family! I am doing research on how to manage stress and really trying to effectively go through the stages of grieving (which I've already gone through once before). I know it will be a challenge, but I haven't made it this far for nothing!

So I'm asking my lovely family and friends to bare with my on this journey to being a better, happier, and more relaxed version of me.

I also want to apologize again to everyone I've lashed out at or been short with. Im trying my best to be a better me!

Side note: I will be a home owner on Friday!! ThAnks to my mom, dad, molly, for making it all possible!