Custody

Here's a touchy subject for ya. It should be as clear as black and white, but unfortunately, it is most definitely not.

For the longest time, I felt that everything should be equal among parents sharing custody. That was until I had a glimpse at reality. Some parents can accommodate their lives to handle caring for their kids half the time, while other's cannot.

By accommodate, I mean doing what you say and saying what you do. If it's your 'turn' to have your kids, SHOW UP! Regardless of your plans, you make the time and adjust accordingly. The primary parent doesn't get to decide not to show up. They are there day in and day out.

I've began to believe it's not always easy to be fair. Eventually it becomes only to be about what's best for the kids. Why temporarily disrupt their daily life for an event that may or may not happen again? Why send them to the other parents for time away when said parent doesn't want them consistently? Why excite a child only to have to tell them 'mom/dad isn't coming.' It's heartbreaking for that child.

No ones wants to go to court over this issue or take the children away from their other parent, but where do you draw the line? How many times does disappointment have to arise before enough is enough? Who really gets to have a say?

Or how about a parent who has been absent all of a sudden wants back in? Or a parent who originally didnt want to 'keep' an unborn child? Do they just get to be free of consequences? Who really gets to decide who gets the child, when, and for how long? It's easy for a bitter parent to want to make the other parent suffer. But what about the parent who tries to be fair and it never happens? Who decides? How do parents agree? Who is right?

And you, we automatically assume it's the dads who are deadbeats, but there are plenty of terrible moms out there too.

It's a never-ending battle when two parents don't see eye to eye.