Sunday, March 30, 2014

No makeup?

So I've seen the social media trends of taking selfies with no makeup to help raise awareness for cancer. Immediately, I thought what a ridiculous idea. It felt as though people are referring to the fact that no makeup is a bad thing. That it is a sign of ugliness. Um what? How could posting a no makeup selfies be any way to raise awareness for cancer?

After my brief thoughts, I ignored the selfies. This morning I happen to come across an article written by a cancer patient. Her explanation of how no makeup selfies were a crude reminder that even with no makeup, these women are still healthy and beautiful. I do not have cancer so I cannot relate, but I agree. A cancer patient looks in the mirror and doesn't see herself anymore. In her article, she would give anything to have a no makeup selfies that looked like her. So please stop thinking no makeup is a bad thing, beauty is more than what's on your face.

Raise awareness by doing something that truly benefits cancer research and its prevalence.

Friday, March 28, 2014

No more excuses!

So I am over 3 months postpartum...and my journey back to my prepregnancy body has come to a stand-still. I've wanted to get back to my fitness goals since I was 6 weeks postpartum, but I've since come up with nearly every excuse as to why I haven't been following through.

It's come time where I am unsatisfied with my body as I've been filling it with garbage foods and avoiding the gym. I hate the mom belly and untoned muscles...prior to baby Linc, I was on track. I was at a weight, size, and fitness level I was proud of.

I know they say it takes time, and I have to make the time, but I literally feel like I have NO time! Instead of taking advantage of the time I have had to exercise, I used that time to be with ny kids, sleep, and watch tv. Instead of eating cleaner, I've given in to my cookie addiction and continue to zip through the drive-through...it's time I make myself accountable for my actions and change my lifestyle back to what it was prior to pregnancy.

I just need the motivation and dedication to kick me in the ass and go!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

This little miss is so stinkin' smart! Thankful that she loves to read! Love her!

Monday, March 24, 2014

♥ -a few things I do daily
Date #2 was a success! We met up at a pool hall, let's just say I'm no hustler! I love playing though and I think it may be my new skill to master!

It was fun continuing to get to know him. We laughed and joked until our 4th game was up. If we were being technical, I won. But we weren't, and he kicked my butt! At one point, he had shot all his stripes in and the table was left with ALL my solids! :(

We ended the night at Bdubs with a beer and wings...yes they were delicious! We had good conversation and I'm excited for #3! :)

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Blog challenge: how have you changed in the past 2 years?

I am going to change that to the last 3 years, as that is when my life made a complete 180...

I am happy to say that I have changed for the better in so many ways. A major change is how I view life in general. It has been a long road, but at the end of the day, I am still alive and blessed with so much. I value you family and my relationships. Its all about quality not quantity. I am okay with my small tight-knit group of people in my life. They are all that matters.

I was young and dumb and did dumb things. I am glad I experienced that scene, but am also glad that i no longer have a desire to party or drink. I would much rather spend an evening home with my littles watching movies, playing Pet Shops, and stealing every moment I can before an early bedtime!

I have learned how to be alone and how to accept being alone. And as a matter of fact, its okay. I get to do me all day. I want a partner to enjoy life with, but I know its not a top priority. I am content with where I am and how I am. It will take a lot to change my relationship status to anything but single!

I have always been a respectful person, no matter the situation. I have learned that showing respect shows what kind of person you are. As much as I may dislike someone, I give them the respect. There are a few people who don't deserve my respect, but I will do my best to..."kill them with kindness."

Overall, I have changed and grown into an adult. I have had the ability to recreate my life and turn it in to my own regardless of what has been thrown at me. I no longer yearn for others approval and trying to please them. I no longer feel the necessity to put forth an effort towards toxic relationships, it is, indeed, okay to walk away from those who are no longer fit.

Change can be difficult, and by all means, it was for me. However, those changes have made my life 100% better. No question!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

In just a few days my sweet Lincoln will be 3 months old! The time has gone by way too quick!

Every day I stare at him and Bri and realize how lucky I really am. They are my pride and joy, and they have no idea how important thet are to me.

Everything I do is for them. So I can provide for them and give them the best chance possible to have a good life. And at times, its overwhelming.

That being said, several 'challenges' have presented themselves. First off, I have been breastfeeding Linc and as of late, I simply have a low supply. I set a short goal to make it 3 months and I'm barely there. The inability to continue to nurse him breaks my heart, and I feel so guilty. Of course I will continue as long as I can but I don't foresee it going too much longer :(.

Second, daycare fees are going to break me! It's insane how expensive it is. At times I wish I could stay at home with my kids, but unfortunately we all know that cant happen. And with my current work schedule, its not enough. So I've had to begin looking for a second job. :( I'm already gone a lot with work and Army, this will just increase my absence...all because I need to pay for daycare. I'm hoping something works out and I can go back to having one full time job. Wish me luck!

Third, I guess this isn't a challenge, but an awkward and confusing situation... the kiddies have the next 4 days with their dad. I get extremely anxious and emotional when its time for them to see him. I guess I never know how to act or what to say, as I still hold on to a lot of anger towards it all. I constantly remind myself that its not for me, but for the kids and their dad to be together.

On the bright side, I get the weekend to get some things done and date #2!! :)
What a lovely day I had...Starbucks, mani/pedi, makeup shopping, and Chipolte with Jaime! It was a much needed day away from work and life's daily struggle.

Monday, March 10, 2014

It's been a long time since I've been able to say and feel that everything is okay! Today, I can say it.

I've had too many trials and tribulations, and for this moment, they have lead me to a good place.

I woke up today feeling joy. Something I haven't felt in a long time. The sun was out, my sweet babies were happy this morning, I love my job, my family is truly amazing, and life finally feels good. I know there will be many struggles to come, but my happiness will no longer be an expense.

It is truly a great feeling, having a smile on my face simply just because.

Side note: had my first date on Saturday night with a pretty nice guy. Good conversation and great hibachi food! :)

Can't wait for the next one!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Dating...

I guess I hoped I'd never have to date someone new after I got married, but it looks like that's not the case. I am finally ready to get out there and hopefully meet someone genuine and right for me.

With my hectic life, it's literally impossible to meet someone! So I am giving online dating a try. I will admit that it's not my first choice but I have to start somewhere.
I've had my profile up for about a week. Lots of 'winks', emails, and profile views...with all that, I've found one legit connection. I am not sure what I should expect for this. And in all honesty, it's so overwhelming.

Already, I've had guys send rude messages because I didn't respond right away. And another go out of his way to send a message only to come back and say he wasn't interested. Rejection at its finest.

How long do I need to stick this out? I don't like meeting strangers, as I am very skeptical of people because of past relationships. How do I make this easier?

I see many people are on this site to simply hook up...that's NOT what I am looking for. The last time that happened, I got pregnant and ignored. I know it wont happen again, but I'm not in the mood to take that risk.

Perhaps I am much better being single...or maybe I should stop looking for someone and hope for something to happen on its own. Ah...we shall see what happens I guess.