Ignore

...quite possibly the worst word and feeling many people deal with. Why do people do it and have no remorse for how they've made a loved one feel? Why do we love the ones who ignore us, and ignore the ones who love us? It is beyond me, people's thoughts and actions amaze me sometimes!

"If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the converstation, we won't talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?"

It's the rubber band effect...google it!

I Hate Love

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

--neil gaiman

Happy Easter!

 B and I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! This was our first holiday home in a few years! It was such a perfect day for family and fun! Above is B in her Easter outfit. Below is the "Crack Easter Egg Hunting Team 2011" We had an egg hung for the lil ones! Even the adults had a hard time finding all the eggs! :) Thanks everyone for coming and making the day so wonderful! We had delicious food and great company! Wish Molly could have been home as well! :)

why so sorry?

what on earth does it mean when i am constantly appologizing for everything? i dont deliberately do bad/mean things that one would typically appologize for..so why do i say sorry so often? i have noticed that in the past few months, i am saying sorry to someone in my life almost daily! who does that? i find myself saying sorry for sleeping in, for wanting to hang out with friends, for leaving a dirty towel on the floor, for forgetting to text someone back, for being myself, etc. and when i think about it, i really shouldnt say sorry hardly at all. not that i dont feel bad, but because i didnt actually doo anything that needed an appology. perhaps it has alot to do with my distraught marriage, low self esteem, or the recent changes and challenges i have had to deal with. sometimes i would just not to care or worry so much about every little thing! next change-building self-esteem! wish me luck! errr my hard work will lead to luck!

Wedgie(s)

Me- "Stop touching your butt!"

Bri- "But I have a wedgie."

Me: "Are you sure?"

Bri- "Yea, I have wedgies all the time.." As if it's no big deal :)

My toddler and the things she knows and comes up with! Love her to pieces!

Germany??

Get ready, cuz this girl just booked her tickets for a vaca in May!! Can't wait to be reunited with my bestie and spend a week having drinks, traveling, and spending time with some lovely people! Sooo excited!

It's NBA Playoff time!!

Wishing the Lakers some luck during the 2011 NBA Playoffs!! They didn't start out so well, lost first game against New Orleans...but they'll get them next time around! I got the opportunity to go to a Lakers game when I was in Cali in March! Can I say "amazing!" It was soo much fun! Seats kinda sucked, but it was quite intense! And I got to see my star player, Lamar Odom! :) Super good ball player! Miss Khloe is one lucky girL!

Speaking of Khloe, her and Lamar have their own reality show on E! You know for sure I had to watch it! Their relationship may possibly be a bit scripted for the show, but either way, I want what they have! They are too cute together, and Lamar is quite the sweetheart! :) Lovee Khloe too! Her style is unique and her entrepenour-ish ways make her stand out even more! Can't wait for the rest of the season!

renovation...

As I am making a change to my life, I felt it was needed to change my living space as well! Since I had to move back with the P's for a while, I asked them if we could re-do the upstairs to make it a space for B and I. Well, we started, almost finished with the first room, 2 more to go! And so far, it's looking great! Pictures soon to come!

Everything is slowly falling into place for B and I! I can honestly say that I am getting my happiness back! :) It's a wonderful feeling!

Once I get my computer set up, I'll have more time to write about my normal..err non-normal life! Hope everyone is well!

What to do??

So a while back, like 2010 sometime, I wrote about what I wanted to be when I grow up (something along those lines). Well, I am still undecided, but am moving in some direction that seems to fit! I had mentioned my interest in cosmetology, I applied at the Aveda Institute and got in. Well, we all know I have a 3 year old, with hair down to the middle of her back, that has to be maintained! The more I did her hair, or attempted, the more pain I got in my hands! So that kind of put an end to Aveda. Maybe I'll take a make-up class instead! :) I also mentioned getting back into the military. I had an amazing converstation with a SGT from the AirForce Reserve. That's my next step, go through the initial process to get into the AF reserve! :) It's much more promising than the Army Reserve which had been my first intention! It's strange how I got a hold of the AF recruiter...I googled "mn national guard recruiter" and found a phone number. Well it turns out that phone number was for the AF Reserve Recruiting instead, someone was looking out for me today! :) And my last dream job was dental hygiene, still is! But I am having difficulty getting into the one class I need before I can take any other prereq's..so I am goin to finish my AAS  in Health Administration while trying to take those prereq's so I can apply for the dental program in January! (If my AF job is in the dental field, then I will no longer need to apply for the dental program) So everything is in the works, but on the right track!

B started school this week, she loved it! Another day tomorrow! :) She's excited! The weather is finally getting nice here in MN! We can be outside with out freezing our toes off. I've finally gotten a chance to excercise outside as well! Maybe a nice run tomorrow will be good while B is at school! Everything else is coming along, slowly but surely! My household goods will be here Monday!!!!! And my car should be ready by next week too! ROAD TRIP to St. Louis anyone??

Welcome back, Spring! Glad you could FINALLY grace us with your presence! <3